Believe it or not, I’ve been accused of being immature many times throughout my life. Perhaps it’s in my nature to not want to take things — especially life — too seriously. The way I see it, life is pretty much a series of unfortunate mishaps scattered with a handful of good times. Shit happens. But so does eating chocolate and joking and laughing until you cry and taking a night off from your troubles to hang with good company who will sip bourbon with you and stoke the fire that emanates from your dirty mind.

I must disclaim that I did not invent all of the following — dirty minds tend to run in groups, and my posse is the dirtiest of all. (Insert “dirty posse” joke here.) And these terms are in no way a representation of the bars or restaurants herein; they represent only the sick, sick minds that came up with them. I now present — Naughty Nicknames of Louisville Bars:

 

Cumberland Boobs

Taints

Dick’s

The Pink Door

City Cock

Dutch’s Oven

Highlands Tap-Dat-Ass Room

60 Breast

Cacoots

Hos Older Than Dirt

Headdiners

Dick Inn

The Back Door

Holdin’ Nuggets

R Place Pube

Heine Smothers

d-N-a-V Tavern

Mac’s Tuckaway

Snatchbar

Moneyshot Tavern

 

See, that wasn’t hard. (That’s what she said.) Let’s keep it going — send your dirty thoughts to [email protected]. Notice how I tried my best to keep it local. I could have easily thrown in Cooters, P.F. Wang’s or Long Dong Silver’s. I’ll post them at barbelle.leoweekly.com.