-25

Four hours in the scorching heat and the only action Cards fans got was a safety? In what seemed like the most tedious sporting match-up in recent history (except for competitive fishing … and perhaps soccer), the University of Louisville managed to score only 2 points in its football season opener against the Cats on Sunday. Kentucky racked up 27, prompting cranky Cards fans to flee the game early and drown their sorrows in the parking lot.

+4

The state is giving Louisville $100,000 to develop a plan for building new bike and pedestrian paths. The grant will cover the cost of hiring a consultant to compile a list of potential locations for one- and two-mile bike paths that will complement longer trails throughout the city. Because most car trips are two miles or less, officials hope the paths might encourage automobile addicts to give their gas-guzzlers a rest and get some exercise. 

+6

In conjunction with last weekend’s WorldFest, nearly 600 immigrants were sworn in as U.S. citizens during a naturalization ceremony at the convention center on Friday. When the ceremony concluded, the immigrants — representing 91 different nations — walked together to the Belvedere to celebrate (cue the Kumbaya).

+20

While death wouldn’t normally register as a positive on the Zeitgeist scale, this is an exception: Confessed killer Mel Ignatow was found dead in his Louisville apartment on Monday. Twenty years after torturing, murdering and burying his girlfriend Brenda Sue Schaefer — and then getting away with it — the city’s most notorious killer apparently fell into a glass table and bled to death. Enough said.

World-classness: +5