‘Weeds’ tokes it on the run


Season 4, Episode 1: “Mother Thinks The Birds Are After Her”

Showtime, Mondays, 10 p.m., aired June 16. Starring Mary-Louise Parker, Elizabeth Perkins, Kevin Nealon, Justin Kirk, Hunter Parrish, Allie Grant and Alexander Gould.

Synopsis: With the embers of Majestic and Agrestic smoldering in their rearview mirror, Nancy and family flee southbound to the border town of Ren Mar, Calif. Meanwhile, the DEA interrogates Doug, Dean and Isabelle, who all pin the entire grow operation on Celia. Back in Ren Mar, Andy confronts his father and new landlord Lenny.


Sara: (taking long inhale) So … (speaking without exhaling) … what are we watching this week, man?

Mat: Pass that over here … “Weeds.” (inhale)

Sara: This is the last of it. Did you bring any?

Mat: No, the show “Weeds.” On Showtime. (exhale)

Sara: Dude. I love that show. (inhale) That chick from “Fried Green Tomatoes” is sweet … I’m glad she found something to do with her career. And Elizabeth Perkins — remember her from “He Said, She Said” with Kevin Bacon? Love that ’80s shiz. Hey, doesn’t bacon sound good? (exhale)

Mat: Bacon and eggs, scrambled. Kind of like Grandma’s brain in this episode. Len (Albert Brooks) has the crappy end of the diaper. I guess we all have to look forward to Depends in our old age (exhale), but it’s payback for him being a jackass to Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) while she and Judah were married. Apparently Dad forgot how easy-on-the-eyes she is. Not one to be outdone, her bringing German dinner into Len’s house was like a Freudian middle finger. 

Sara: (inhale) Yeah, Freud was onto something. Deep shit. And you said finger … (exhale) heh. What did Nancy’s brother-in-law Andy (Justin Kirk) say that I laughed at 10 minutes ago? He was reciting bathroom-wall graffiti he found at a rest stop. Something like, “Here I sit, cheeks a-flexin’ … just gave birth to a little Texan.” 

Mat: Texas is big. Huge. It’s like its own ocean.

Sara: So this season’s gonna be weird, since Nancy burned down her SoCal mansion and left behind her a life of drug dealin’ … or did she? What’s she going to do now? Be a Wal-Mart greeter? Doubt it. Do you think Celia (Perkins), Doug (Kevin Nealon) and the rest of them will join Nancy & Co. in her new bordertown? I certainly hope so … wait … why am I answering my own questions. Mat … are you awake, man?

Mat: Doug’s a banjo-toting schmo. Assuming he makes it out of the police station, he should be deported to some never-neverland. Like Kansas. Toking while he’s at an emergency shelter? With cops around?

I wonder whom I’d have to bribe to buy a section of the Mexican-Texas border. Bein’s that Pablo Escobar’s dead now, maybe my options are wide open. And if you retire from drug dealing, do you have to give up your portion of the fence?

Sara: Fence. That’s a funny word. Say it out loud. Fence. Ffffence. Fencé. Speaking of the border, do you wanna make a Taco Bell run?

Mat: Cool, but I’m drivin’. 

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