+4
Congress approved and President Bush signed into law a new fuel-economy requirement for auto manufacturers, giving hope to a future world with less fossil fuel dependence and fewer Hummer-driving assholes. The bill requires Big Auto to produce vehicles that average 35 mpg by 2020, an increase in renewable fuels, and more efficient lighting, appliances and commercial buildings. A provision that would have killed $13.5 billion in tax breaks for Big Oil to use toward wind, solar and conservation measures failed, reminding us who still calls the shots in America.

+2
Your gummint agreed to a half-trillion-dollar spending bill that includes some delectable pork for local projects, including bridges, dams, airport runways and police. Tucked deeply inside the bill is legislation that makes it harder for the criminally insane to buy guns, clearing the path for a future acknowledgment that we’re all criminally insane.

+3
The Metro Council decided Thursday to give the Health Department a year to study banning trans fats in the Louisville food service industry. The agency also wants to spend the time educating the public as to why this kind of crap will kill you. Also, some on the council want to ensure that local businesses won’t be hurt by the ban. Some national-sized grease-peddlers have already switched from trans fats, but it’s much more difficult for small businesses because of associated costs.

+25
The Fantastic Four (Jesus, Santa, Frosty and the Coca-Cola Polar Bear) came. Packages were unwrapped, the homeless were fed, neuroses were fueled, and hearts were full of joy and cholesterol and high fructose corn syrup and peace.

Total: 34