Rumor & Innuendo

What does it all mean?
The last time UK had a member of the C-J’s Super Five was ’95, when Ron Mercer had the honor. For U of L, it was the year before, when Samaki Walker made the grade. Gun-totin’ Sebastian Whatsisname doesn’t count, since he — delusional, much to his detriment — didn’t matriculate to the Belknap campus.

Here’s an NBA trade for you.
Dallas’s defeated Dirk Nowitzki straight up for Minnesota’s disgruntled Kevin Garnett. Or so I’ve heard.

While you weren’t looking …
U of L’s Tony Belt high-jumped 7 feet, 3 inches at the Big East Outdoor Championships, setting a new record. Since it’s not a Summer Olympics year, nobody was looking. Actually nobody would be watching even if the Olympics were this year.

Sooey, pig.
It’s always football season nowadays, right? How ’bout the soap opera down in Razorbackland? A fan sued the University of Arkansas and Chancellor John A. White because, if I’ve got this right, the defendants didn’t properly investigate a nasty e-mail sent by a disgruntled supporter to frosh QB Mike Mustain before he decided to transfer to Southern Cal. Coach Houston Nutt has been subpoenaed to appear in court and to produce his cell phone records. Where is Nolan Richardson to calm things down when they really need him?

SchnellSpeak of the Week, Spring Practice Edition.
Our man in SouthFloridaland seems to be rethinking his grandiose dream of a domed stadium for his FAU Fighting Owls. Of the school’s consideration to possibly erect temporary stands around its track and field facilities, Howard intoned, “I think it would be good. I have concerns about doing it this year, but I would be in favor of it. It’s obvious people would come to games on this campus.” The school scrimmaged on the field, without stands. The Schnell: “It felt good to be surrounded by familiar sights.” Of QB Rusty Smith’s less-than-stellar showing, The Pipe puffed, “It wasn’t his finest hour.” But he ended, as he always does, on an optimistic note: “It might have been good that he played badly. He has refocused and done a good job making corrections this week.”