The Bar Belle: The tragedy that is green beer

Friends don’t let friends drink green beer. Seriously. Don’t do it. Don’t even think about it. If you have to, order a bottle … or a Guinness … or a Harp … to commemorate St. Patrick’s Day. Just don’t walk around with a goofy grin and a pint of syrupy green sludge that leaves stains all over your face. It looks like you just blew a leprechaun. Or had a threesome with Papa Smurf and Homer Simpson.

Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day need not be over-planned, over-expensive or over-stressful. A lot of the Irish bars around town, for instance, like to jack up their prices and charge an enormous admission fee. I admit I’ve participated in their celebrations the past few years. It’s the place to go, right? The place to see and be seen. This year, however, I’m tired of draining my wallet like it’s Christmas. St. Patrick’s is about celebrating Irish culture, not donning hideous amounts of green beads and shamrocks and dancing to The Rumors dishing out Mellencamp covers.

Gathering at your neighborhood watering hole and cutting up with friends and strangers alike is more Irish than chugging down three Irish Carbombs chased by a Bud Light served in a green aluminum bottle.

Parade a sousing success
The annual St. Patrick’s Parade hosted by the Ancient Order of Hibernians Saturday was a resounding success. The weather was nice, the crowd was huge and the floats were aplenty (more than 60!). Valu Market won the trophy for best float, and the Rolling Stones boys won for best spirit.
While I had a blast riding the R Place Pub float down Baxter, later that evening the TARC refused me a lift home. The luck of the Irish must have drowned.

Beer Fest at Rich O’s
The New Albanian Brewing Co. (a.k.a. Rich O’s) is hosting Gravity Head this month. This annual celebration features the most exotic and sought-after beers of the world. Taps vary daily. Go explore. (3312 Plaza Drive, New Albany, 812-949-2804)

Life is one big drinking game, and you just lost. So drink up. Contact me at [email protected]