The Bar Belle

Drop the Jagerbombs
 For some ungodly reason, Jagerbombs have become the thing to do at clubs and bars throughout the country, including Louisville. This is nothing new, you say, but have you ever wondered why you’re spending $8.50 on a shot that is only half alcohol? That’s a lot of money to be throwing away on souped-up Mountain Dew. Why not just do the shot of Jager, for a mere $3.50, and leave the Red Bull for the coffeehouse freaks? If you really need a pick-me-up during a night of drinking, order a Rum & Coke or mosey over to the Back Door and try one of their famous coffee-drink Gunners — it’s cheaper than a Jagerbomb and will leave you shaking long after last call.

‘Love Shack’ condemned
 I bet if you took a one-hour sampling of a dozen karaoke bars around town (and country, for that matter), you’d find a striking similarity in the songs that are sung. You’re certain to hear Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” from the drunken bridal party floozies. I’m pretty sure you’ll even hear Meatloaf’s “Paradise By the Dashboard Lights” butchered once or twice. Madonna, Garth Brooks, Patsy Cline and Neil Diamond are even bound to show up a few times. But lord help me, if I have to hear the B-52’s “Love Shack” one more time, I’m going to electrocute myself on the nearest neon sign — even if it’s an O’Doul’s. Why does this song continue to be a karaoke staple? What’s the fascination with shouting the infamously unrecognizable “Tin roof, rusted” lyric? Just to prove you know it? Save it for trivia night at Molly’s.
Perhaps it’s because the songs you have to choose from are limited. But I’ve seen karaoke books bigger than Stephen King’s “It.” It’s OK to have that ONE song you excel at — mine’s LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” — but if “Love Shack” is in your Top 5, I’m pleading, no begging, you to blacklist it. Banish it. Make it disappear. It’s one song that should not have survived the ’80s. Let’s give it an appropriate burial. Let’s burn it down.

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