Issue March 25, 2014

Guest Commentary

BY MARCY WILLIAMS Last week, I was sitting on the balcony of my two-bedroom, two-bath Cherokee Park apartment when I saw a cleaning lady walk down my street. I could tell she was a cleaning lady because she had a mop and a bag full of cleaning supplies. It wasn’t because she looked Mexican, OK? … Continued


BY CLAIRE GIBSON Before I got married, I took a lot of pride in the fact that my fiancé and I had done things by The Book. The groom-to-be was chivalrous, with a solid group of guy friends and no red flags in sight. He taught me how to flip an omelet without splattering the … Continued

Video TapeWorm

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS: 47 RONIN 2013; $19.98-$49.98; PG-13 The legend of the 47 Ronin has been filmed about a half-dozen times, most famously in 1957 (Kunio Watanabe) and 1962 (as “Chushingura” by Hiroshi Inagaki), but this is Keanu Reeves’ all-new, all-out-CGI-effects blockbuster. He plays Kai, an outcast who joins, then leads, an army of … Continued

Fake Issue 2014

Dragon sightings rise as 17th smokeshop opens on Bardstown Road Louisville Metropolitan Police Department has issued a public service announcement instructing residents to stay indoors and away from windows in order to avoid death by dragon. “We cannot downplay the importance of heeding the new dragon warning system we’ve put in place,” said LMPD spokesperson … Continued


<SHOP> Thursday, March 27 Aisle Help You Out Highlands Kroger 2440 Bardstown Road Free; 4 p.m. Management at the Highlands Kroger now admits they underestimated the impact that rearranging their aisles would have on residents. Customer complaints are at an all-time high, with some people reporting getting lost and disoriented when their attempts to find … Continued

23-year-old named executive editor of C-J

 Following a landslide of departures by senior editors and staff writers, The Courier-Journal has named a 23-year-old content producer executive editor of the once storied newspaper. Bailey Pulliam has previous experience as a beat reporter at a small Indiana newspaper, a summer intern and as editor-in-chief of the University of Louisville student newspaper The Cardinal. … Continued

Clifton man wasting away again at Big Al’s Beeritaville

Retired teacher Lawrence Beatty has found a new purpose in life. “Living on sponge cake, watching the sun bake” is how he describes his mission. He spent part of last night blowing out a flip-flop, probably by stepping on a pop-top. Beatty also enjoys mornings spent strumming his six-string on his front porch swing. Though … Continued

Advice: Savage Love

READERS: A crowd of smart, engaged students packed a theater for “Savage Love Live” at Centenary College of Louisiana last week. Centenary is a terrific liberal arts school in Shreveport. Centenary students submitted more Qs than I could possibly A in the 90 minutes I had with them. So here are some bonus answers to … Continued

The Lord and Lady of the Rings

Kentucky is currently the center of an epic battle for control over Middle America, as the Free Peoples hope to wrestle power away from Sauron, the Dark Lord of Corporate America, who rules the federal government in Washington, D.C., with an iron fist. Sauron’s rule is in jeopardy due to the presence of a magical … Continued

Inbox — March 26, 2014

Not My Cuppa Joe As the campaign manager for Sen. Mitch McConnell, I was completely justified in threatening to have LEO Weekly news editor Joe Sonka arrested for having the gall to want to ask the senator a question at his press conference in Louisville last week. LEO is nothing but a communist rag for … Continued

Louisville’s next big breakout band currently getting good grades in seventh grade music class

Future hipsters Iver Samson, Lennon Pinson and Holden Suffeld, who will one day comprise the indie-folk-newgrass-punk-new-age band 21st Century Hobo, are doing well in their seventh-grade music class, according to teacher Cindy Flanagan. “I really think Iver is doing quite well on the trumpet, despite his limited musical abilities,” Flanagan said, unaware that her semi-talented … Continued


‘Planet Coffeehouse’ controversy A recent episode of the public radio program “Planet Coffeehouse” devoted a segment to American music throughout the years, highlighting the labors of favorites like Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson and Tim Krekel. Despite the inclusion of some newer, younger acts as well, Louisville music bloggers were outraged that the panel of radio … Continued

Bar Belle: Take your key and shove it!

Dear Mr. Mayor, Hey, it’s me again. The girl who always bothers you for a key to the city. We’ve rubbed elbows on the Belle of Louisville during the Great Steamboat Race. Remember? You even came to the Back Door once and sat at my table when you were first running for mayor. I shared … Continued

Plugged In

Readers are strongly encouraged to call ahead to verify these listings. To get your musical act listed, send email to with PLUGGED IN in the subject line. The deadline is FRIDAY at NOON the week before the show happens. We do not accept listings via social networking sites.   Wed MAR 26 Air Devils … Continued

Organic, locally sourced curry taco pho borscht wings joint opens in NuLu

A new restaurant, Just Curry Taco Pho Borshcht Wings ’n’ Things, has opened in NuLu. The concept is the brainchild of co-owners Mary Srivastava Garcia-Nguyen and Russ Dementyev-Johnson. “We’re so excited to finally bring our curry, tacos, pho, borscht and wings to Louisville,” said Garcia-Nguyen. “All of our food is organic and locally sourced.” The … Continued

Art: Brrr arrested, charged with causing polar vortex

In a move that shocked street artists and meteorologists alike, the man behind the popular “Brrr” street tag has been arrested and charged with wanton weather provocation. Louisville Metropolitan Police Department are calling the stunning arrest the first step in a new zero-tolerance policy for shitty weather. “The city budget is overextended by more than … Continued