Just a pinch

Doubt is a real sunnavabitch. It piles up around your ankles each day beginning the moment you step out of bed and eddies around you like dust particles caught in the sunlight. Spend about five minutes trawling the Internet or watching TV and elements of the reality you’ve come to accept as, well, actually real … Continued

Breaker Breaker. Do you copy?

The battery in my truck was dead the other night and I was late for a concert. My girlfriend was kind enough to let me borrow her car for the evening. I’m unfamiliar with the stereo system in her vehicle and was running up and down the dial searching for something to listen to that … Continued

Now thinking

Silently contemplating the similarity of their respective fates, a chilly wind blows through the drying needles of unadorned Christmas trees and whistles over top of empty champagne bottles laying out by the curb for pick-up. Wax droplets from Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and yule log candles have been carefully chipped off of the floor with flat-head screwdrivers. … Continued

Mother Maria

I was playing guitar with my girlfriend in the front room the other day. We were picking out a Lyle Lovett tune we’re both fond of called “South Texas Girl.” It’s a near perfect little Kodachrome snapshot of a tune about growing up in Texas, driving down country roads, shopping at the five-and-dime and singing … Continued

‘I Love You Just The Way You Are’

Not just No. 1 in Kentucky, not just No. 1 in the Midwest or the South; Louisville, Ky. — our home — was elected the No. 1 travel destination in the United States of America. No. 1 in the entire damn country. Took long enough. Lists like the one Lonely Planet published last week are, … Continued

Unburdened at least

Even if it was a psycho-spiritual shell game designed to reinforce the Church’s symbolic dominion over my individual salvation, going to confession did offer an opportunity to periodically relieve my conscience and reflect on my actions. I remember sort of looking forward to it. There’s something about a national election that feels essentially similar; I’m … Continued

This don’t feel like a party

I voted for Ralph Nader in each of the last three election cycles, and I’m unrepentant. I am opposed to a two-party system that stages elaborate moral and ideological pantomimes while, offstage, corporations play/pay both sides and lobby themselves into positions of primacy above, and to the detriment of, the actual citizens of the United … Continued

Start making sense

A few weeks back, in a prematurely old man-esque bid to stay in touch with “what the kids are listening to these days,” I followed the “Hot Video Pick of the Week” link on Yahoo! Sews (the abysmal effects of this website and its comments section are the subject of my forthcoming memoir “Ya-boo-hoo-hoo: How … Continued

Strangers and their dogs

I am a dog owner who moonlights as a bush-league misanthrope. These combined circumstances, in addition to my habit of sitting as far away from humans as possible with my nose in a book, tend to position me as something of an outlier at the dog park. My dog, Dwight, enjoys the clubhouse atmosphere of … Continued

Damn the torpor torpedoes

The last couple of weeks have not been the most flattering in my life. My lady friend left on a long trip at the end of August and, like a B-horror movie segue sequence, the quasi-respectable, allegedly adult, humanoid appearance I maintain in her presence immediately devolved to reveal my true, ghastly form: that of … Continued