Summary of My Discontent

Helpful hints for modern living

For a perfect cup of coffee, carefully measure 6 ounces of filtered water per 2 tablespoons of coffee from a country that doesn’t practice genocide or slavery.

Summary of My Discontent

Sixth grade is a pain in the ass

[Jim Welp is on vacation. This column originally appeared in LEO in January 1971. -ed.]

Summary of My Discontent

A Christmas miracle

The man — grizzled, disheveled — sat down heavily on the leather mall couch and looked lovingly at his unlikely companion, a small bespectacled girl with blond pigtails.

Summary of My Discontent

War is crack

Patience isn’t usually my thing.

Summary of My Discontent

CDC bulletin: Swine Flu and You

As winter approaches, cases of the H1N1 virus are expected to increase.

Summary of My Discontent

The metrosexual meter

So, I’ve been working on my personal style. For most of my 20s and 30s, my signature look consisted of a ponytail, ripped jeans and flannel shirts.

Summary of My Discontent

Bicycle commuter’s survival guide

Remember to bring your joy.

Summary of My Discontent

Live long and prosper

Attention people of Earth. This is Capt. James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. Many of you are undoubtedly familiar with my work exploring strange new worlds, yadda yadda.

Summary of My Discontent

Tonight on CBS: rich man eats bug

Now that Prius is the new Hummer and Qdoba is the new Vincenzo’s and going for a walk is the new seaside vacation, it’s nice to know the economy is stabilizing.

Summary of My Discontent

Hiding the opposition

According to Mom, I once met John F. Kennedy.