Time to contemplate the uncontemplatable. If thats a word.
It isnt, but that wouldnt be the first time youve displayed your ignorance by strangling our mother tongue.
Think he can win?
Course he can. Im no gambler, but in a two-horse race, theres no such thing as a rank outsider. Will he? Very unlikely. Polls arent this wrong. Ive been predicting a double-digit slaughter for three months.
Brave words for someone who lives in Matt Bevins Kentucky. As it happens, part of me thinks it wont be such a bad thing if he does win.
And I think I know which part of you would think that. You say some stupid things, Dewson, usually once a fortnight in the pages of LEO ... but part of you thinks that putting that day-glow shitgibbon into the White House wont be such a bad thing? Youve lost your marbles, mate. It took hundreds of years for Rome to fall. Hell bring this country to its knees in minutes.
Like my ancestors before the joust, Im just making sure my armours on tight. Im not saying hell be anything other than an unmitigated disaster, but theres no sense in being unwilling to look for silver linings. So if he wins and, as is likely, then makes George W. Bush look like George Washington as is also likely every Republican who also ran is effectively out of national politics for the next dozen years. So that means Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan will never be president. Silver lining No. 1.
Perhaps, but theyre finished if he loses too; and like anyone with half a brain, Id rather have it that way. Im just not seeing him winning it. People are pissed off well, at least those whore bigoted semiliterate wankers are pissed off, but that group accounts for almost enough votes to win in this state, not enough to win the country.
Youre forgetting the Brexit effect. Swathes of voters just wanting change, no matter how disastrous that change may turn out to be. They think theyve got nothing to lose, and even if theyre in for a nasty shock on that front, nothingll stop them from pulling the Trump trigger next Tuesday. However, you only learn to be careful about what you wish for, if you actually get what you wish for in the first place, and if Americans dont want to learn the easy way, they might learn the hard way. Silver lining No. 2.
Brexit effect, my arse. Theres a tenuous comparison specifically people having no clue what theyre voting for, but who say, Fuck it, lets do it anyway. But thats where the comparison ends. Voting for Brexit was sort of an esoteric, vague ideal, not a vote for the worlds most offencive pillock. For all of Boris Johnsons obvious and odious lust for power, Ill credit him with being more charismatic than Trump, who has all the charisma of genital warts.
Im pretty convinced that whoever wins is going to be a one-term president, anyway. Weve gone eight years without a major economic shock, and were long overdue one. Ironically, the most likely trigger is Brexit, which I anticipate being handled with all the subtlety of Trump having an off-mic chat with Andrew Dice Clay if hes still alive. If anyone thinks American companies wont be impacted by a European meltdown, then Ive got a full scholarship to Trump University for them. Silver lining No. 3.
Ill give you that one, although, as silver linings go, a global recession isnt my favourite. That said, politicians claim far too much credit when the dismal science goes their way, and then get far too much shit when it doesnt. And as much as I admire our soon-to-be lame duck, entertainer-in-chief president, the economic winds have been very much in his sails.
Believe it or not, theres even more good news.
Been giving this a lot of thought, havent you. No wonder you never do a scrap of real work.
Whatever. Look, if he wins, the entire congressional Republican Party is screwed, Mitch McConnell in particular. And thatll be just desserts for the utterly wretched display of cowardice hes displayed over the last six months. If theres one thing Trump appears to hate, its a turncoat; and if theres one thing he appears to love, its revenge. McConnell wont even utter his own party nominees name in public. So win or lose, McConnells toast. Silver lining No. 4.
And we havent even had time to discuss the terminal damage Trumps done to his personal brand and business empire, both of which werent worth a farthing before ... and which are now worth considerably less. But I gather youre going to miss all the fun of the fair by disappearing out the country while this whole shit-show reaches its shuddering apocalyptic climax?
Yep, heading back to Blighty for a break: missing the election. Ill apply for asylum if Trump wins.
Buggering hell. You wont come back? Thats a silver, gold and platinum lining. Talk about making America great again!