I can smell free drinks from a mile away … 3.5 miles, actually. I’ve experimented. So when I heard about Brightside’s annual Green Tie Bash last Friday, I knew I had to crash. It was sponsored by Brown-Forman, for chrissake … of course there was gonna be booze. And green just so happens to be my favorite color, so I wrangled up my favorite St. Patrick’s tie, recruited some fellow conspirators (Belle’s Two) and headed over to The Olmstead, a fancy party hall that usually doesn’t let me through the door.
This party was a benefit for Brightside, the organization that keeps Louisville revered … by planting flowers and building parks in the middle of busy intersections like the one at Eastern Parkway and Goss/Poplar Level (which is actually where I want to hold my wedding ceremony, or maybe just a kegger). The Young Professionals Association and the Urban League Young Professionals hosted the event, which meant there were a lot of pretty people herded in corners who knew I didn’t belong there.
Unlike party crashers touted in other publications, I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to make friends with the bartender. I don’t want to take your picture, so stop smiling at me. I’ll scour the scene for freebies, pocket some brownies and pretty much remain behind the scenes — a thirsty lion tiptoeing among the antelope ale.
The three of us made it past the door and to the bar with nary a roadblock. And we even picked up a free drink ticket along the way. I’m guessing because El Jimador Tequila was a main sponsor, sombreros and ponchos were strewn about the room. After the first Woodford kicked in, my cohorts and I grabbed the costumes to make ourselves inconspicuous. We rubbed elbows with Mayor Jerry (who wouldn’t relinquish his drink ticket … or the keys to the city) and Congressman/LEO founder John Yarmuth, whom I reminded is responsible for bringing me to this city 10 long years ago. I didn’t get a drink ticket from him either.
Luckily, the prices were cheap, and the company was entertaining. After several plates of nachos and chocolate-covered strawberries and a few dozen sessions in the photo booth, we pronounced the night a success and continued taking pictures with a cactus.
St. Patty’s Parade!
Don’t forget to grab your green and head to the Highlands on Saturday for the Ancient Order of Hibernians’ annual St. Patrick’s Parade. Dozens of floats take over Baxter/Bardstown Road — from Phoenix Hill Tavern to Mid-City Mall — starting at 3 p.m. (Look out for the LEO Party Bus, making its virgin voyage in this year’s parade.) Also, the pre-parade Blessing of the Beer will be held Thursday at O’Shea’s Highlands at 6:15 p.m. BBC Bourbon Barrel Stout never tasted so good.
Drunk Texts of the Week
• The whale killin is obvious … the mouse don’t train the elephant!
• Libraries make me poo
• Im not goin in till its ready 2 come out!
• In Amsterdam … no pot yet
• That bookers put hair on Col. Sam’s chest.
• I want to sprinkle holy water on your liver.
• You’ve heard of whiskey dick … But have you heard of winegina?
• If you wear a kilt for st. paddy’s … you better put a sock on your puppet.
• When in doubt, dip it!