Issue March 14, 2006

Plain Brown Rapper

What would Thomas Jefferson do?

What would Thomas Jefferson do? Sit around Heine Bros. like some urban dilettante and make an intellectual case against the establishment? Would he passionately call for campaign finance reform, perhaps going right home and mailing that $100 contribution to Sen. John McCain, one of his left-wing heroes?

In other words, would Thomas Jefferson be a political-science philosopher type? Would he be someone who, in various ways, was trying to work from within the system? Would he realize that communism, after 90 years, was consigned to the scrap heap of history because of inherent flaws and corruption? Would Jefferson realize that because of the non-reform of campaign finance — the insidious influence of lobbyists like Jack Abramoff, bribes, incompetence (e.g. Iraq and Katrina) — that our republic form of government is so threatened as well?

What would Thomas Jefferson do? Would he loudly declare after his third drink at some Bardstown Road bar that Bush sucks? Would he go so far as to say — after looking over both shoulders just in case the Homeland Security Gestapo might be listening — “Somebody ought to take an AK-47 and shoot all the sons of bitches in Congress!”?

In other words, would Thomas Jefferson believe that the current armed forces, that is to say, the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, National Guard, S.W.A.T. teams, various police agencies throughout Americas and even the school crossing guard, are the appropriate way to go?

What would Thomas Jefferson do?

Would he pump out his chest for being so bold as to bad-mouth Sen. Mitch McConnell in a signed letter to The Courier-Journal for his Darth Vader stance on campaign finance reform?

In other words, would he feel that being critical of elected officials is enough? Would he think that such things as letters to the editor, to U.S. senators, congressmen (House of Representatives), mayors, city councilmen, county judge-executives, Metro council members, governors, state senators, state representatives, district court judges, circuit court judges, state Supreme Court judges, U.S. district court judges, federal appellate judges, the U.S. Supreme Court and all the multiple bureaucracy would be enough?

What would Thomas Jefferson do?
 
Would he take the big step and courageously picket a George W. Bush rally? Would he write something really vile and nasty on his sign?
Would Thomas Jefferson, with sincerity, think this really matters? Or would he realize, were he a 21st century man, that this would just put him on a political enemies list with the help of videotape, cameras and voice recordings?

What would Thomas Jefferson do? Manufacture “WWTJD” wristbands?
In other words, would he think he could work within the system and use this along side billboards, brochures, radio ads, 30-second TV attack ads, buttons, bumper stickers and other such baloney?

I’ll tell you what Thomas Jefferson would do.

He would lead another domestic revolution.

How can I be so sure? Well, it was Jefferson who said that during every generation, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. Did he really mean that when he said it some 61 generations ago?
“The whole of government consists in the art of being honest.”

“When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them to another, and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect for the opinion of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to separation.”

”Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.”
“The God who gave us life, gave us Liberty at the same time.”
“Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God.”

Or was he kidding?

What would Thomas Jefferson do? He would — in the words of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” — “Cry ‘havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war!” He would climb atop the stone tables at Starbucks and yell “Revolution now!” “Smash the State!” “Defy authority!”

Thomas Jefferson would recruit soldiers at the back door of the Back Door.
Bear in mind that this is Jefferson County, and across the river is Jeffersonville, Ind. Locally, at least, we’ve shown by such things, plus the statue in front of the old court house, that we think TJ was right.
 
And he certainly might write radical rhetoric like you’ve just read.
But anyway, I’m Carl Brown, Louisville’s Plain Brown Rapper, and that’s just my own damn opinion. If you don’t like it, call the thought police.

Contact the writer at plainbrownrapper2001@yahoo.com